Our Executive Director is expecting! She & her partner are preparing for the imminent arrival of their first little one and we are all so excited to welcome them to the Steps family. Before she goes on leave, we asked her to share some of her feelings on motherhood, inspiration, work and more.
Are there some things that you thought motherhood would be like that you’re already learning are a little different then what you expected?
I don’t know that there are things I have expected motherhood to be like in general, honestly. My approach to navigating pregnancy and preparing for parenthood has been to just accept that the experience is both similar to and entirely different for every person and that, no matter how much I do to prepare (which has looked like lots of reading, thinking and talking with my partner and community supports), there will still be things I never saw coming or couldn’t prepare for. I’m trying to expect the unexpected and if motherhood is anything like pregnancy has been, that has been the right assumption.
Any fun plans with your Mom this year?
My mother & I live in different states so we don’t get to spend regular in-person time together. She’ll be coming out to support me during the last week of pregnancy and our first week of parenthood which I think will be an amazing time for me to soak in any of her wisdom and lean on her for support. (Not to mention get a little gardening done together!)
What women have inspired you?
My mother inspires me. She is one of the reasons I feel so passionately about supporting survivors. She is a strong woman who took courageous steps to pursue and achieve a life free from violence. I am surrounded by strong women, in my family, friend group, in our agency and in our shelter. I am inspired by how different they all are and how we still carry a thread of common understanding no matter what our triumphs and our traumas have looked like.
What’s one thing that you’re most excited about becoming a new mom?
I love a challenge! I’m excited to raise a strong, independent and thoughtful person who wants to make a positive impact on our community! I’m excited for all the firsts, the struggles and the celebrations!
Are you nervous about going on parental leave for the summer?
I’m a bit of a workaholic and my first year at Steps has certainly been full so it’s been hard to make the mental transition away from work as my number one priority. I have been so challenged and fulfilled at Steps, navigating a year of COVID leadership, renovating and opening our new shelter and welcoming so many new staff, that I often find myself consumed, in the best ways, with work. When I found out we were expecting, I was reluctant, almost sad, to think about stepping back, even if only for a couple of months. One of the most beautiful things about Steps, though, is the community. Our board, our staff and our community are all so incredible, so supportive, and so committed to our mission, that I find myself able to embrace this time to empower our strong team to continue the work while I also embrace the time to learn and grow into parenthood. Life is all about adaptability, perseverance and connection. I have been challenged, alongside my community, to persevere through the past year and I’m eager to adapt to “working parenthood” and rely on the amazing people around me to carry us through.
What do you think about balancing parenting and coming back to work?
I’m inspired by all of the women I am surrounded by who take on this challenge; I have genuinely paused, in awe, that so many people do this whole “parenting & working full-time” thing everyday without (much) complaint. I think that being a good mom, a good leader, a good partner, a good friend and a good member of my community all sounds overwhelming at times and that I have to give myself patience, lean on my people and believe that I can do what I care most about. I love my job and I love my time outside of work, with my family & friends, and I’ve learned the importance of loving and caring for myself so I think finding the time for the things that are most important and appreciating the value of being flexible will get me through it.
What has it been like being pregnant for the first time during a pandemic and working full time?
I get lonely. I’m sad to miss the “rites of passage” like showers and other gatherings and connections with people going through similar things. I’m lucky to have a strong support system and a partner that shows up for me. Luckily we both find each other to be hilarious so that has helped me maintain a sense of humor. Working remotely has been hard. I miss my team and the community we have but I’m proud of how everyone has cared for one another and the anticipation of returning from leave to an office full of people I appreciate is all the more exciting!
What have you most been craving?
Sweet breakfast foods! Pancakes, french toast, waffles every weekend!
What’s one piece of advice you were given that has really helped?
One of the biggest things I’ve taken away from all of the stories, guidance and advice I’ve received along the way is that I should just accept that I don’t know what I don’t know. I have learned a lot and feel as prepared as I think I can feel but I also know that there is so much I can’t control and I just have to go with it, be patient with myself and trust my instincts.