Healthy Masculinity and the Anti-Violence Movement
Written by Keegan Albaugh, Executive Director of Dad Guild
As a father raising two young daughters, I try to model healthy masculinity for my children. I want them to expect men to show empathy, model vulnerability, and be kind to others. But I know it isn’t just me who needs to model these behaviors. We need to see it from a majority of men in our communities.
Historically, women, trans, and non-binary people have carried the workload in the anti-violence movement, and we desperately need to engage more men in this work. Particularly fathers, who not only face increased stress levels in early parenthood and need that extra support, but are also responsible for breaking generational cycles of modeling troubling traits of masculinity that fuel the patriarchy.
At Dad Guild, a Vermont-based nonprofit organization that supports and empowers fathers, we’re doing the work to rewrite the script of what it means to be a man. We believe this societal change requires a multifaceted approach, and here’s how we’re doing it:
Creating spaces for fathers to feel safe and connect with their vulnerable selves - In order for men to talk about their emotions and thought processes, they need safe spaces to do so. Our organization creates a culture where not only are these types of conversations accepted but encouraged.
Normalizing asking for support - Oftentimes, men feel they need to solve things themselves and are reluctant to ask for help. We regularly talk about going to counseling, the benefits of peer support, and how life isn’t meant to be traveled in isolation.
Providing dads with the tools to talk with children about important issues - A lot of times, men may not feel confident talking with their kids about topics such as racism, sexism, and privilege. We increase confidence in discussing these topics, and encourage conversations with children at an early age.
Working with community partners to establish more supportive systems of change - There’s a lot of work to be done around truly engaging fathers and men, and meeting them where they are at. We’re collaborating with partners to help set up better systems and structures that encourage fathers to be involved in their children’s lives and to show up as the best possible version of themselves.
Having fun - Embracing a healthy version of masculinity is fun, and the meaningful connections fathers make with one another and their children is not only characterized by deeper connection, but also laughter, joy, and playfulness.
When I look at the growing network of over 600 Vermont fathers Dad Guild has established, I find comfort in knowing that my daughters are being raised in a state where more and more men are embracing a masculinity that is defined by love, kindness, acceptance, and compassion. There’s a lot of work to be done still, but I’m happy with the direction things are going.
